How I’ve been spending my time

I realize I’ve left this blog with nothing but crickets chirping for quite a while now, and I’m sorry. I’ve had plenty to share, but no time to do it.

One of the main things that has been taking up my time these last few months is training for this:

(picture source)

Yep, I went all crazy cakes and signed up for a triathlon! And it’s this Saturday!

If you’re not as familiar with LDS lingo, let me explain that the triathlon is put on by the women’s organization of the church (called the Relief Society). Therefore, the triathlon is only for women; it’s main goal is to promote women’s health. A stake is a group of several congregations in one area—just a way of keeping us organized.

Let me explain my journey a bit. For the past 2 years, a nearby stake has put on a similar triathlon. Many of my friends in that stake tried to encourage me to join in, but I had what I liked to call the “triathlon trifecta:”

1. No childcare
2. No bike
3. No gym membership to accomplish the swim training

And last year, I was pregnant, so that was a pretty easy out, also

It was announced early this year that our stake was going to be doing a triathlon of its own. I was tempted to give it a try (pun intended), but at first, I still couldn’t get past that triathlon trifecta (not to mention the fact that I was nursing an infant). It wasn’t until a pregnant friend of mine said she would sign up to walk the running portion that I decided I should at least sign up to do what I could. Certainly, I could walk 3 miles; no problem. And that got me thinking: maybe I would sign up for the run portion, planning to walk, but should I happen to find a chance to go jogging once in a while, I might be prepared to run it come triathlon day. That created a snowball effect in my mind, allowing for the possibility that maybe I’d have the time to train for some biking and swimming also. I liked thinking of it with a very non-committal, baby-steps approach.

I talked to the triathlon rep for our ward (congregation). I asked her if I could sign up for the running portion, and if I managed to train for another event, add that on later. She said that I might as well sign up for everything, because I could opt out of any event at the last minute, but I could not add on events after a certain point. So I did. Suddenly, I was signed up for a full triathlon. I thought I must be going crazy!

I’m just going to wrap things up here by saying it has been a long road, but I am indeed going to participate in each of the 3 events. I’d love to find the time to describe my journey through all of the training. Maybe no one is interested, but I want to document it for myself. If I get the time (ha ha), I’ll do another post or two telling about my training. For now, I’m just looking forward to this Saturday. I’m nervous, but I’m mostly SO excited. I actually think I might possibly be ready—something I thought I would never be.

So if you think of me this Saturday, send me all your prayers and energetic thoughts. I think I might be needing them!

On an unrelated note, I realized the last time I posted a picture of my sweet baby boy on this blog, he was just under 2 months old. If I didn’t have a separate family blog where I post pictures of him, this would be a criminal act for this doting mommy. Even still, it’s high time I share something on this blog, considering the fact that he’s now 10 months old. Man, that went fast. So I leave you with this—maybe another explanation why I have been so absent in blogging—I’m too busy loving this boy!

Overwhelmed Much?

image source

I want to issue you a challenge.

Are you like me? Do you ever have those nights when you go to bed, and as soon as your head hits the pillow, all you can think about is what you didn’t get done that day? This happens to me often. The night before, I sit up envisioning all the things I’ll get done the next day and all that I will finally accomplish. Then the next day comes, life happens, I mostly only accomplish that which is needed for our basic survival, and I go to bed feeling discouraged again. So I stay awake thinking about all the things I should have gotten done and all the things I hope maybe I can get done the next day.

Have you heard that Barenaked Ladies song, “Who Needs Sleep?” There’s a part that says, “My mind is racing filled with lists of things I’ve done and things I’ve missed.” That song runs through my head often.

Many nights, I sit up, turn on the lamp, and make a to-do list. Maybe if I write things down, I can get them out of my head and get some sleep, right? Wrong! My to-do lists are a mile long. They include all the things I need to do such as clean the bathrooms and finally clean out the kids’ closet. But they also include all the things I wish I had time to do, such as make curtains for the dining room, read more books, actually post something on my blog, or try my hand at sewing skirts for the girls. (That part of the list goes on and on and on.) So obviously, I don’t stand a chance at even making a dent in that list, and the discouraging cycle continues.

I know there must be some of you out there who feel the same way. Maybe you don’t let it keep you up in the night like I do, but you probably have goals. Maybe you want to clean your bathrooms once a week. Maybe you want to keep your kitchen counter dirty-dish free. Maybe you want to find time to exercise or enjoy your favorite hobby more. I know I can’t be completely alone in this because I’ve heard my friends talk about how they feel the same discouragement.

Now, I can’t say that I have found a way to multiply your time so you can be supermom, an amazing housekeeper, and perfect your talents in several different areas all at the same time (if anyone HAS figured this out, please let me in on the secret). But I have found something that helps me to not feel so discouraged, and I hope it can help you, too.

Forget the to-do list!! Or if you just can’t stand to do that, keep it short and realistic for your day. But most importantly, start an accomplishment list. I started doing this at the beginning of the year, and I felt the change immediately. When I went to bed, I would pull out a little pad of paper and jot down anything that felt like a chore I had done. If I loaded the dishwasher, I wrote it down. I wrote down anything I wanted to give myself credit for, such as:

• washing laundry
• putting laundry away
• picking up the family room
• running errands
• exercising
• cleaning out closets

The nice thing about this is that you answer to no one but yourself. If you were having a particularly difficult day and it felt like a chore just to get out of bed but you did it anyway, write it down! I write down things that work toward goals, such as spending more time focused on my kids, reading more books, reading scriptures, or making handmade items. I’ve written down things as minor as:

• got dressed before noon
• put away Christmas stockings/nativity (that was Jan 21st! Ha!)
• made dinner
• read stories and scriptures to the girls
• put away groceries
• shaved my legs!
• ironed fabric for a project
• posted to blog
• had Family Home Evening
• stopped snacking by 10pm
• in bed by 11:30 (these last two were giving myself credit for baby steps while recognizing that I needed to eventually raise the bar)

Basically, it’s all about giving yourself a little credit. I think that as women, we can be really hard on ourselves. This is a way to end the day on a good note. It has helped me not to sweat the small stuff and give myself a pat on the back for all the day-to-day things that I accomplish that might not even feel like accomplishments anymore because they are so routine. I go to bed realizing I’m not lazy, I don’t sit around and do nothing all day. So if I don’t manage to do everything, that’s okay, too.

My to-do lists have gotten much more realistic by doing this also. After I write down everything I did get done, once in a while, if there is something really pressing in my mind, I will write down 1 or 2 things I would really like to get done the next day. It feels so good when I can cross off everything because I didn’t let my expectations get too high. And if I didn’t get my to-do list done, I still have at least 10 other things I was able to accomplish instead. Plus, it’s a form of motivation to use my time more wisely. I know that if I sit and browse the internet rather than emptying the dishwasher, I’ll have one less thing I can write down at the end of the day.

I call it my accomplishment journal, but I don’t let it turn into another source of guilt. I have never told myself, “aw, man! I haven’t kept up with my accomplishment journal.” That would be counter-productive. I do it when I think I need it. I kept up with it for a while in January, and then I took a break. Now I’m starting to feel like I should go back to it for a while because I’m feeling overwhelmed again. My due date for this baby is looming, and I know how quickly a pregnancy can fly by. There is much I want to get done before baby arrives.

So here’s where the challenge comes in. You know, the challenge I mentioned before I went into all my blathering? I want you to join me. Try keeping an accomplishment journal for a week and see if it helps you. Remember that if you miss a night, that’s okay. It’s not about the guilt! But give it a try and see if it helps you feel better about the things you get done during your week and less discouraged about what you don’t.

I’d love to hear what you think. Maybe you’ll find you didn’t really need it because you were already realistic in your expectations for yourself. Maybe it will motivate you to get more done. I hope it will encourage you the way it has me.

Will you try it? Do you do something else to help yourself see your accomplishments? How do you keep up with your to-do lists and still fight discouragement? You’re always welcome here. Let’s chat!

One Word for 2011

One word. Whenever I run into a question that asks me to describe something in one word, whether it be a relationship, a person, myself, or whatever, my very first thought is “No.” I don’t want to if I don’t have to. See, I like words. LOTS of words. I don’t like being limited to one word that could be misunderstood. You’ve probably noticed by now that I can be rather loquacious. So when Jenny from the Southern Institute suggested we start thinking of a word, I wasn’t exactly excited to participate.

But she gave me plenty of time to think about it, and it’s been rolling around in my mind whether I’ve wanted it to or not. I realized that I could explain my word, thus satisfying my need for verbosity. I love the word Jenny used last year: pause. I had plenty of ideas for my word for this year. Cherish was at the top of my list for quite some time. And hope seems absolutely perfect, but too cliché. As the new year came closer and I started thinking about my resolutions, which tend to be the same goals year after year because each year I only manage to make the tiniest amount of progress, my word came to me.

My word for this year is continue. NOT because everything in my life is perfect and I just need to continue along the same way I always have. My word is continue because I need to keep at it, even if I feel like I’m just chipping away at reaching my goals. If the assignment had been for two words, I could have said, “keep trying.” I get discouraged so easily. There are so many reasons to feel like giving up on my goals . . .

• There’s that feeling of making no progress no matter how hard I try.
• Being overwhelmed by how much I have to do/the high expectations I have for myself.
• So many feelings of inadequacy!
• Difficulty prioritizing.
• Comparing myself to others. I know this is one of my biggest weaknesses. I usually end up comparing others’ best qualities to what I consider my worst, and of course, I always come up short.
• Losing that New Year’s feeling. Do you do this too? It’s hard to make a fresh start in the middle of the year. I usually hit March and realize I’ve totally failed to keep up with some of my goals. It’s pretty hard at that point to start anew and try again. (Which is why I want to continue renewing my goals and my resolve to accomplish them throughout the year.) 
• Busy, busy life!
• Guilt. If I look for it, I can find guilt in just about any part of my life, and it’s great at holding me back.
• Impatience!

Wow! This post is sounding so discouraging! I didn’t mean to be such a downer. The point of my word is to tell myself to just keep going, continue trying. There are some days I tell myself I’ll be doing good if I can just make a dent in the list of things I want to accomplish. The word continue is meant to remind myself to give myself credit for the things I do accomplish. Continue doing my best to make time for my family even if it means the house stays messy. Continue trying to strengthen my faith. Continue supporting my husband while he works so hard to support this family financially and get through grad school at the same time. If we can just continue to trudge through, I know we’ll be done with him being gone so much someday. Continue in hope and optimism. Continue in happiness. Continue even when discouraged.

Continue is the word I’m using to tell myself to keep going when I’m tired and overwhelmed. Continue is a message of hope, telling me that if I just keep trying, I can do anything. It’s my little reminder to “just keep swimming, swimming, swimming . . .”

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Continue reminds me of the story about President Hinckley, when he was discouraged in the mission field, and his father told him to “Forget yourself and go to work.”

Maybe this explanation has been rather muddled, a result, I am sure, of my conflicted feelings about being limited to one word. I doubt this will be a life-changing exercise for me. But I do think it will bring me some strength and hope when I need it most this year.

Continue! Press onward! Strive! You can do it!