The Real Me

I don’t usually get this personal on this blog, but I shared this on my family blog and got a lot of responses. It seemed to resonate with a lot of my friends and family. I’m sharing it here just in case I still actually have any readers, and in case some of you can relate also.

I recently read THIS POST on a blog called Finding Joy about New Year’s resolutions for moms. I was having a bad day, feeling tired, lonely, and overwhelmed. When I got to her #7 resolution, I started to cry. This was the #7 resolution:

I will share my heart in this journey. And this means being real. It means admitting when we don’t have it all together and allowing tears to fall and having that friend that we know that we can call at 2:19 am when we’re just afraid or tired or dealing with anxiety. And speaking of anxiety – there is no shame in admitting that one deals with that either – none. Sharing our hearts with [each] other honestly breaks down the perceived walls of perfection and makes us human. I mean truthfully, we’re all probably pretty deep down grateful for that mac and cheese in the cabinet but sometimes we don’t admit it. Being real means celebrating us.

This is my struggle.

I have friends here in Illinois. Maybe not as many as I had in Oregon, but I do have friends. My friends have told me to call them whenever I need to, even on the bad days. I even have had people from church I don’t know very well offer to help me out. Have I called any of them?

Friends—rarely.

Others—nope.

I could probably even call some of my friends back home, but I don’t. I’m too afraid they’ll feel like it’s oddly out-of-the-blue for me to contact them other than on facebook because I haven’t maintained a “random phone call” relationship since I moved. If I can get past that hang-up, I talk myself out of calling them because I need to forge friendships here where I am, with people who can maybe actually lend a hand if needed.

But then I don’t call anyone here.

I’m not being real. Or at least, not when I can help it. Sure, there was one day at church when I just couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, and I sat and sobbed to my friends until the tears ran dry. But they only see me like that when they catch me.

It’s SO HARD to call someone when I’m right on the verge of tears or already a blubbering mess. It’s so hard to expose myself like that, to trust, to share the messy, anxious, emotional side of myself.

But that’s what I need.

Most of the time, if I can just find someone to talk to, or cry to, I can get it out and move on. Sometimes I just have to know I’m not alone. Sometimes I just need to let all that emotion spill over, relieve the pressure.

I know I need to let people in, but I have so many fears, so many hold-ups. I don’t want to be the “Debbie Downer” friend who is only a burden. I don’t want to drag anyone down. I’m not very good at making casual phone calls and maintaining friendships over the phone. I’m afraid if I start calling when I need help, that will be the main time that I call, and people won’t see that I have normal times too. And then they might be tempted to fix me.

But I don’t feel like I need to be fixed. I don’t want to be diagnosed. I don’t want to be doctored. I don’t want to be drugged. I just want to be me, even if I’m a little messed up.

MAYBE I have just a touch of depression or anxiety. I don’t know. I have good days and bad. Some of the bad days are really bad, but I get through.

But let’s face it, this motherhood gig is tough! I’m still adjusting to dealing with four instead of three. Most of my days are days where I just get through the day. I try to enjoy moments here and there, but it’s not one big, pinterest-worthy, memory-making, endearment-filled journey. I’m in a tough stage right now. I’m always exhausted. I spend so much of my time changing, dressing, feeding, caring for, and cleaning up after people. I can hardly make a dent in the cleaning up after people. And while I try to teach my kids to help with the cleaning up, that can be more work than doing it myself. Sometimes it’s just more peaceful to leave it undone until I can get to it.

And I know I’m struggling more with this baby than I did with my others. I have pretty good reason to, if I say so myself. I’m really far from where I call home. I am trying to call this place home, but even when I do, it has an asterisk by it that indicates “temporary.”

That’s the only way I can stand being here.

I miss the moderate climate of Oregon. Some of the worst days in Oregon look like a picnic compared to this place! I miss my family. I am so often in regret that I don’t have any family around to fawn over and enjoy my baby with me. They’re missing it. Cecilia is our last baby, and by the time we live near family again, she’ll probably be just past toddlerhood. They’re going to miss all her baby stages. That breaks my heart over and over and over again. I could go on and on about how I miss my family, but maybe that’s another post on it’s own.

_ _ _

But it’s not all bad. My life is not all bad, and I do not see it as all bad. Little things keep me going. Like the wink Phaedra gives me when I pass by the family room door and the other two big kids are staring at the TV. Like the sweet smiles and snuggles of my baby. Like hearing my son say, “I wuv you, Mom,” out of the blue. Like Eleanor cleaning her room without being asked. Like the happiness we all experience when Daddy comes home. We may have chaos, but we have a lot of lovely chaos.

(Reading scriptures)

Like the feeling I get when I know my prayers have been answered. I think my testimony is growing being out here. I love my calling teaching Relief Society, a calling I never thought I could handle doing. It teaches me so much, and brings more of the spirit into my life. I know I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, and I feel that love, even when I’m having a bad day.

I’m trying.

I may not have it all together right now, but I’m trying.

I’m learning.

I’m growing.

And I’m going to try to let people in. I’m going to try to share my heart. Because I need that friend I can call anytime when I’m falling apart. I need as many as I can get.

7 Months

Well, this project only took me 7 months to complete!Do you ever have a project that you just keep setting aside over and over again? This was that project!

As I was working on minion hat after minion hat last November and December, my own kids kept begging me to make something for them—especially Phaedra. So come January when I had all the Christmas projects behind me, I let her choose what she wanted me to make her. After 6 minion hats (nope, still haven’t blogged them), I was SO relieved when she chose Hello Kitty instead.

I got all the yarn I needed. I got started. And then I reached the point on the hat where it said, “finish off and weave in ends.” I set the hat aside. And it sat. And sat. And sat . . . The crochet part was no problem, but I think I was just too burnt out and sick and tired of weaving in all the little yarn tails on all the little details!

I think the only thing that got me going on it again was the fact that baby #4 is going to make her arrival in just a few months, and I’m feeling the need to do some nesting crafts. I hold to a strict rule that I can’t start another project until one is finished (especially same type of project), so that lit a fire under me to finally force myself to finish Hello Kitty. My poor Phaedra gave up begging me months ago.And now she has to wait for it to actually get cold again to need to wear it (poor girl).

I promise Hello Kitty has a left ear. It’s just hiding behind the bow. I snapped these photos quickly before we hopped in the car to go the library, so I wasn’t paying that much attention to all the details.

I swear I do this every January. I work so hard to get handmade items done for people for Christmas, and I think I can keep the momentum going after the holiday and actually make some stuff for our family/house. So I get all the materials for a project, sometimes I even get started, and then there’s no deadline . . . no pressure . . . and it never gets done! Don’t ask me what ever happened to the fabric storage boxes I was going to make out of the beautiful organic fabric 2 years ago. Just don’t!

I’m extra proud of getting this hat done because I actually completed 2 Hello Kitty hats. I made the first one and decided it was just going to be way too small, so I started over and completed them both. I’m still trying to decide what to do with the extra.

P.S. I found the pattern for the hat HERE.

Announcing . . .

Book Review: Rump: The True Story of Rumpelstiltskin

Rump: The True Story of Rumpelstiltskin by Liesl Shurtliff
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

For a summary of the book, click on the title above (not the blog post title).

I just loved this book! From the very beginning, Liesl Shurtliff showed such great imagination in the telling of Rumpelstiltskin's background. The whole way through, I was thinking to myself that it would make a great family read-aloud if I liked the rest of it as much as I liked what I had already read. And I did!

This book has plenty of adventure without being too scary for younger readers. I was really impressed how the author weaved Rump's past into the story we know of how he ended up. She also used other fairy tale characters or made mention of other stories so Rump's story intertwined with other fairy tales, while keeping the main focus on him.

I think this is a great book for boys and girls alike. Shurtliff keeps you invested and turning pages the whole way through.

I bought it and have started reading it with my kids.

Content: This is a kid-friendly book! The worst words you'll find are "butt" and "idiot." There is some mild peril, and the main violence is when the bad guy hits someone or there is evidence that someone was beaten up.

Have you read it? Tell me what you thought!

My Cup Runneth Over

This month, I have been trying to notice my blessings, big and small. I have lots of friends on Facebook who post every day something that makes them feel thankful. In the past, I found it a bit . . . forced—and too public for my taste. But this year, I decided to join in, knowing that focusing on the positive could only help my situation. I haven’t posted something every day because I can’t commit (ha ha), and sometimes I think of something for which I am grateful that I just don’t feel like sharing. But today, I had more on my mind than I could possibly share on Facebook.

As I sat at lunch with Phaedra and Curtis this afternoon, my heart was full. I looked from one child to the other, noticing their beautiful eyes and faces, and feeling so in love with them I could scarcely contain myself. They happily munched on mac & cheese and begged sunflower seeds and croutons off me from my salad. At that moment, I felt so full of the light of Christ. I don’t know any other way to explain it. I love those moments. I am so grateful for those moments.

Those are the moments when I don’t think about the boxes I still have to unpack, the unruly pile of shoes by our back door that are begging me to find a place to put them, the pile of dishes in the kitchen, or even the miles upon miles upon miles between us and the rest of our family. All I can think about is how blessed I am to be right there in that moment. I’m amazed by my children—how they grow and learn and love, and I am honored to be able to witness it and be a part of it. I feel the love of a hardworking husband who comes home after work and helps with dinner, pays attention to his family, and helps put kids to bed. He is concerned for our welfare, and he leads this family righteously.

For most of the day since that moment, I have been mindful of other blessings throughout the day and in my life in general.

I am grateful for my kids and how they remind me to stop and enjoy things like piles of leaves in the yard. I love how they beg me when we get home from school to spend some time raking leaves. I love how Curtis thinks he’s so important and helpful when he comes along and puts his rake in the center of our pile and pulls the leaves in the opposite direction. He hasn’t quite figured out how to get the leaves to go where we are trying to take them, but he really wants to work.

I’m so in love with those faces!

I’ve felt thankful on many occasions that our new ward is so welcoming and friendly. I’m so glad the sisters are so kind.

I’m glad we’ve been here for a month, and it has gone by quickly.

I’m glad we were able to find a place that has a good school for Eleanor.

I’m am so grateful that the snow from Monday has melted! Watching that snow fall down and start sticking on the ground made me the worst kind of homesick I’ve been since we got here. It’s going to take me time and lots more warm clothing before I will be able to embrace winters here. I think I’m going to have to buy lots of thermals to wear under my clothes. And warm hats!

I’m grateful for the love of my family and for the connections I’m still able to have with them and my faraway friends.

But mostly, I’m grateful for moments like the one I had at lunch when I can stop and realize the great bounty that I have.

Time for a Change

Do you ever just get that feeling that a change is coming? That your otherwise peaceful lives are about the be turned upside down as your path takes a major detour from the expected?

I’ve had that feeling for months. I knew it was just a matter of time.

The feeling was right.

Grant has accepted a position at a community college in Illinois, near Chicago, and we’re about to uproot our little Oregon-grown family and head east.

I’m working really hard at being excited about this change.

We’ve told the kids about it. Actually, we asked them what they thought at first. Phae’s response was something predictable like, “Sure!” or “Great!” Eleanor gave us the thumbs-up as soon as she learned they have an aquarium there.

While my feelings are very mixed, and I am very reluctant to leave the family, friends, and home we love, I know it is the right thing for our family at this time.

About a week after the decision was made, Eleanor came to me one morning and asked, “Mommy, do you want to move to Chicago?”

My thoughts raced to all sorts of things I could tell her to placate her. I could repeat to her all the things friends had said to me about what an adventure it would be for us and all the fun things we could do. But before I started to talk, I took one look at her and knew I had to be completely honest with her. This is what I told her:

Your daddy and I have said many prayers to try to make the decision if we should move, and we feel like the answer was that we should. I know I have received an answer to my prayers that it will be the best thing for our family to move to Chicago. So even though it might sound scary to me sometimes to leave our cousins and grandmas and friends behind, I know that our Heavenly Father knows what’s best for us, and He will take care of us. If I didn’t feel like that’s what Heavenly Father wants for us, would I wake up one morning and decide we should just pack up and move to Chicago because it sounds like a fun place? Probably not. (She laughed at that.) But I have been praying that your daddy would find a good job in a place where it will be best for our family, and I know this is what we are supposed to do.

I told her that as long as we have faith and try to make the best of it, we will be blessed. And maybe we’ll be surprised by how much we end up loving it there. Who knows.

I’m so glad that I answered her question that way instead of just telling her what an adventure it would be. I’m glad that I was able to share my faith with her. Because this move is going to take a lot of faith.

I have already felt and seen a great outpouring of blessings upon us. I have felt such great comfort through these stressful times of planning a move across the country. I would have fallen apart so many times over by now without being strengthened by my Heavenly Father. Sure, I’ve been overwhelmed, and there are times it feels like wave after wave of panic is crashing down on me, but those moments don’t last long. Ultimately, I know everything will work out. Everything will be alright. And we’ll find a new sort of happiness in Illinois.

Book Review: The Teacher’s Funeral: A Comedy in Three Parts

The Teacher's Funeral : A Comedy in Three Parts by Richard Peck
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was a great book. Set in Indiana in 1904, Russel's one-room school teacher dies at the beginning of the book, a teacher who no one really mourns. The book is all about the events in Russel's life surrounding and following his teacher's death.

This book is filled with quirky characters and schoolroom (and outside of schoolroom) shenanigans. I loved the relationship between Russel and his sister, Tansy. I think what I loved most of all was the quiet father. He doesn't receive a lot of focus in the book, and he doesn't talk much. But the book gives you the sense that he knows exactly what is going on with his children, and he's just letting things play out until he sees a need to step in.

Toward the end, I was laughing out loud as things spiraled along when you thought they couldn't get any worse. Overall, it had a sweet feel to it, and I really enjoyed it. This is my first Richard Peck book I have read. I think I'll have to check out some of his others.

Content: I don't think there's much of anything to worry about in this book. I guess there's some mild violence: a schoolyard brawl and a grouchy aunt who threatens to shoot anyone on her land. That's about it. I don't recall any foul language. I would read it to my own kids as soon as I thought they wouldn't get too spooked by some of the pranks pulled. Some of my older nephews might enjoy it (ages 10-13ish).

I also loved finding out that he wrote the book about his mother trying to become a teacher!

What have you read lately? Anything good?

Book Review: The Light Between Oceans

The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was such a beautiful book. It was touching, heart-wrenching, and enthralling. It will have you feeling conflicted from the very beginning.

This book is especially applicable to parents, but it is also a beautiful love story.

I love the writing! In many ways, this book reminded me of the writings of Charles Dickens. I love how Stedman introduced one set of characters, made us fall in love with them, and then brought in another set of characters, told their story, and weaved to two sets together. Also similar to Dickens was Stedman's beautiful use of imagery. She didn't just tell you that men went off to war and didn't come back. She showed you, and she made you feel it.

There was one section at the beginning of Chapter 2 that I especially love for how eloquently it is written. Here is just a snippet:
"Like wheat fields where more grain is sown than can ripen, God seemed to sprinkle extra children about, and harvest them according to some indecipherable, divine calendar.
The town cemetery had always recorded this truthfully, and its headstones, some lolling like loose, grimy teeth, told frankly the stories of lives taken early by influenza and drownings, by timber whims and even lightning strikes. But in 1915, it began to lie. Boys and men from across the district were dying by the score, yet the graveyards said nothing."

That's just a part of the section I love the most. The writing is just masterful. There's so much more about this book that makes it good, but you just have to read it to see for yourself.

This is one I think I need to buy.

Book Review: Gem

Gem by Holly Hobbie
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is just a gem of a book. Sorry, I had to.

This sweet book starts out with a letter from a grandmother to her granddaughter talking about a very cold winter that seemed to last forever. She says the only thing that got her through that winter was remembering a spring when her granddaughter had found a toad and named it Gem. She spent the winter painting pictures of the toad's life, and the rest of the book is made up of these pictures (without words).

At the end, we read the granddaughter's letter response after she has seen the book her grandmother made.

I thought this was darling. The pictures are beautiful and sweet. I love the correspondence at the beginning and end.

This book has a special place in my heart because of my own little backyard adventurers who will surely be catching toads of their own someday (right now it's slugs and worms).

Book Review: Requiem

Requiem by Lauren Oliver
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Meh.

I liked each book in this series less than the previous book. (Warning, this will contain spoilers for the preceding books.)



Nope.


I have no words. This book just didn't do it for me.

Okay. A few words. Too much of it was cliché.

The "moral of the story" in the end was decent, but I think she was trying to be way more poetic than it actually came across.

The action was weak. The moments that I could tell were supposed to be tense or heartbreaking just didn't affect me like a well written book would have. She didn't make me care about the characters enough!!!

One of the major pitfalls for this book was that there was WAY too much swearing. I feel like Oliver thought she needed to increase the amount of swearing exponentially in each book. For me, when an author uses too much swearing in their writing, it just puts their writing in a lower class. And don't tell me that they need swearing to show the hardness of the characters. Dickens wrote about plenty of hard characters who were brilliantly portrayed, and he didn't fill his books with foul language.

I felt like Oliver used swearing especially as a crutch. Whenever something intense was happening, one of the characters started swearing. Somebody dies, something's scary, something makes them angry, and it's "#$%^^, %$##*, *^%$#@!" Those moments would have been so much more powerful, more moving for me if she had fleshed it out with some actual dialogue or some actual body language! There are so many better ways she could have written those moments! Instead, she decided to alienate her reader by forcing foul words into his/her head.

I appreciated that the ending wasn't wrapped up in a tidy little bow. I applaud Oliver for that point. I really thought she would end it with everything wrapped up and blue skies, which would have been way too predictable.

Honestly, I don't hold very high esteem for this series. I say, if you're looking for a great YA dystopian series, read The Hunger Games. If you've read that and are looking for more and don't mind if it's not quite the same caliber, read the Divergent series. If you've read both of those and have to get your hands on something else even if it's just a worthless fluff read, I guess you could read Delirium. But stop there. It's not going to get better if you keep reading.

Content: This book has violence and plenty of swearing. The "sh" word used repeatedly throughout, and the F-bomb dropped more than several times--wouldn't qualify as a PG-13 movie.

So is it just me? Do you find swearing in a book to be a distraction and a sign of a weak writer? Or do you breeze over it so that you don’t even notice? Have you read this series? What did you think?

Book Review: Divergent

Divergent by Veronica Roth
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was an interesting, addictive read. Another Hunger Games spin off, but very well executed. This society is based on 5 “factions” that basically focus on one (and only one) character trait. Anyone who doesn’t fit into these categories ends up factionless and lives like a rejected hobo. I was mentally fighting the concept from the very beginning because I know I would never fit. But I guess that’s when you know you have a dystopia on your hands. It was fun to read along as characters began to question the arrangement.

I’ve already read the next book. I couldn’t stop reading long enough to write this review before going on to the next book. Both books are certainly life-suckers. You’re not good for much until you have them finished!

Content:
Certainly plenty of violence. I’m not sure if I would say it has the same amount of violence as Hunger Games or if I would have to say there is more.

Language: I don’t remember any swearing except for the occasional taking the Lord’s name in vain. I love it when an author can convey the mood or meaning without having to resort to swearing! Besides, realistically the words considered swearing probably could have changed by then.

Sexual content: There’s plenty of kissing and clinging in this book, but our main character has a fear of intimacy that keeps things from getting too out of control.

Book Review: Delirium

Delirium by Lauren Oliver
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I didn’t know what this book was about when I picked it up. I like to find out just enough about a book to know I want to read it and then forget all that info before I get around to picking up the book. The first sentence sucked me in. It says, “It has been sixty-four years since the president and the Consortium identified love as a disease, and forty-three since the scientists perfected a cure.” What a cool concept! The catch is that the cure (brain surgery) can’t be administered before 18 years of age for it to be safe. So they have a bunch of teenagers running around being told not to fall in love. Imagine how that works out for them.

As a Hunger Games spin off, I found this book really interesting. It felt like it was directed toward a lower reading level just because it was more predictable than Hunger Games. That being said, it wasn’t completely lacking in surprises. The end was not exactly what I expected. I enjoyed this enough to read the next book. We’ll see where it takes me.

Content (stuff I might want to remember when my kids are teenagers and want to read this):
Language: There is some swearing sprinkled throughout, but it isn’t profuse. I would say it’s about the same as a PG-13 movie, but I think there were two F-bombs in there. Pretty light on the swearing, although I think any author is limited if they have to include it at all.

Violence: About the same level of violence you would find in the Hunger Games except not as often. Namely, people clubbing people over the head, shooting, and dogs biting at people.

Chastity (or lack of): The two love birds do plenty of kissing, and they spend the night together several times. I’m pretty sure they just slept the nights they spent together unless I blocked out some hint in there. There is one time when she decides to take her top off and let him admire in awe and wonder. Personally, I’m not thrilled with the influence this book could have on teenagers in relation to chastity.

It should also be mentioned that the main character and her friends have to lie to their parents/guardians on a regular basis, sneak out, and basically reject all that they’ve been taught. It’s understandable in the situation, but is there an underlying message that it’s okay to lie to your parents if you think they’re clueless and love is more important?

Book Review: Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Hmmmm, I have to say I have a love/hate relationship with this book. I was given this book when my 1st child was a baby, and I remember reading it and thinking so much of it made sense. When I saw other parents doing things love and logic warns against, such as counting to 3, I felt like I was so much smarter than them. I wasn't going to adopt the Fays' practices in entirety, but I thought it was a useful guide. I had it all figured out. My kid would be so great.

Fast forward 7 years and add 2 more kids, all of them great. I've been telling myself for a while that I need to go back and reread this book, mainly because my 4 year old has really been pushing limits. I know the Fays say it’s a mistake to say your child is going through a phase, but age 3 and 4 are a pretty rough phase. That doesn’t excuse it, and I realize that something has to be done to change it. Reading the book for the second time with more real-life parenting experience, I wanted to chuck the book across the room most of the time I was reading it. There are so many aspects of it that are just not realistic! Sure, I have loads of friends who want to drop everything in their life just to hang out in a grocery store parking lot just in case my kids act up in the store! Sure, if I let my child stay up all night at a sleepover and then send them on a sleepover encouraging them to do it again, they'll decide not to because last time they got too tired. Oh, and sure, teaching my child that lesson will TOTALLY be worth it because it's not like they'll make my life miserable the whole day following while they are exhausted. And if you can't tell, I'm dripping with sarcasm here!

I just don't understand how giving a child choices all day long is supposed to shut them up when you say it's your turn to make a choice about putting them to bed. That might work for 10 seconds on my kids before they start complaining or popping out of bed for random reasons. It really bugged me that they didn't even consider the possibility of kids acting up after that assertion that it's the parent's turn to make a choice. What do we do after that when the kids turn on the light and start jumping on the bed? What besides sing Uh-Oh do we do? Tell me that, Mr. Fay!

I agree with some of the other reviews that said they found it annoying how dramatically the Fays push their method. They make it sound like all children who aren't raised with L&L will end up in jail.

All that being said, there are some helpful tips and methods found in this book. They just have to be sorted out from some of the other unrealistic stuff. I realize that I already use a lot of Love and Logic in my own parenting, I just haven’t acknowledged it all the time. I wouldn't discourage others from reading this book, but I would say to take it with a grain of salt.

Have you read this book? What did you think?

Right now, I struggle with coming up with consequences that fit the infraction. I feel like I’m not creative enough. It doesn’t help that my 4 year old is untouchable. No punishment seems to get to her. Put her in time-out: she doesn’t seem to care. Take away toys: she says, “Here, I don’t want this one either.” Take away privileges: she shrugs it off.

What’s your biggest parenting struggle?

Book Review: The Secret Garden

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this classic. For some reason, I didn't read it in school as so many other people seem to have done. I always meant to get around to reading it.

I did hit a slump in the beginning of the book. I got started reading it and then had to hurry and read a book for book club. The Secret Garden got put on the backburner, and it took me a long time to pick it up again. I was a little disappointed at first because I wanted it to be a book my 7yr old daughter could read. While it was easily appropriate for her, I thought the Yorkshire dialect used in the dialogue would be too challenging. I found it awkward myself, and it might have been the reason I set the book aside for so long.

But I'm glad I returned to it. The book was very enjoyable. I found it reminded me of a younger charactered version of The Keeper of the Bees by Gene Straton-Porter. The story has a lot of heart. I'm not a gardener myself, but I found the love of nature and the fascination with the garden and its creatures to be quite infectious.

I was a little wary when there was so much talk of magic as the cause of things, but I realize the book is about children. We all want to believe in magic when we are kids, don't we? I liked what Susan Sowerby (Dickon's mother) said when asked if she believed in magic. "'That I do, lad,' she answered. 'I never knowed it by that name but what does th' name matter? I warrant they call it a different name i' France an' a different one i' Germany . . . Never thee stop believin' in th' Big Good Thing an' knowin' th' world's full of it -- an' call it what tha' likes.'"

Whoops, I forgot to mention in the review that I read a few snippets to my 7yr old, and she really enjoyed it. I decided this book would make a great read-aloud. She thinks she’s ready to read it on her own, but I think she would lose interest trying to get through all the dialogue. She doesn’t always follow through with finishing her chapter books, especially the long ones.

Right now, we are reading Babe: The Gallant Pig by Dick King-Smith. My kids have never seen the movie, and I’ve promised a movie night once we finish the book. I’m having a hard time keeping up with reading our chapter books out loud because my 4yr old (who I am trying to get more interested in reading) doesn’t want to listen to chapter books. She prefers picture books—and books about spiders—go figure! Anyone have any tips on how to use our family reading time in a way that I can satisfy both preferences?

Book Review: Henry and Beezus

Henry and Beezus by Beverly Cleary
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Probably 3.5 stars. I think I liked this one a little better than Henry Huggins. My daughter hasn't finished reading it yet, but I went ahead and finished. I like the many sticky situations Henry gets into, and I liked that Ramona is more present in this book. She makes an adorable little sister character.

[Some spoilers ahead] I like that this book was realistic in the sense that Henry had to try to save money for the bike he wanted; his parents couldn't just buy a bike because he wanted one. Even though everything amazingly worked out in the end, I like the aspect that kids have to learn that sometimes their parents can't afford the expensive toys they want, and they may have to work for it themselves. I realize the ending where everything basically falls into Henry's lap takes away from that a bit, but I don't care. It's a children's book, and I love a happy ending.

I also noticed that this second book seemed to have less of the negative language I noticed in Henry Huggins. I think Scooter called the dog dumb a few times, but that was about it.

Book Review: Henry Huggins

Henry Huggins by Beverly Cleary
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I remember reading a bunch of the Ramona books and the Mouse and the Motorcycle when I was little, but I'm not sure if I had read Henry Huggins before. While it felt like a walk down memory lane, reading it with my 7 year old also made me aware of how many derogatory words are used in the book, such as stupid, dumb, and shut-up. I know there are worse things she could read, but I don't want her talking like that. The character, Scooter, can be rather a bully.

We're going to continue in the series. Henry's fascination with animals is right up my daughter's alley, and Ribsy is a very loveable dog. I just was more sensitive to the language now that I'm a parent.

Book Review: Sarah’s Quilt

Sarah's Quilt by Nancy E. Turner
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love reading these Sarah Agnes Prine novels. They make me want to work harder, complain less, and try to find time to write in a journal-- or someday make a quilt.

Not unlike the first book, this one was certainly filled with tribulations, but I like the emphasis on good values throughout. The book is well written and full of heart. This second novel isn't as much of a love story as the first book, but for me, it was still a good page-turner.

I have a few small complaints about the book. I found it blaringly obvious who was the cause of some trouble going on. I could see why Sarah wouldn't come to the same conclusion as easily and took a very long time to figure it out, but I still got annoyed with her for not seeing it.

Another thing, a bit of a spoiler here, so don't read if you don't want to know: [I thought Turner could have done much more or much less with the Lazrus character. The more we saw of him, I kept thinking there was a point, like maybe he was an old friend buried under all that filth who would reveal himself and tell his tale of how he came to be such a mess. It didn't even have to be that; I just thought that if she was going to put so much focus on that character, there could have been something more to him than what we learn in the end: yes, in fact, he was really just a crazy lunatic obsessed with Sarah. If he was just going to be some random, creepy, crazy guy, I wish Turner had gotten rid of him earlier instead of making us endure seeing him repeatedly throughout the whole book.]

Book Review: When Crickets Cry

When Crickets Cry by Charles Martin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this book. Although it was rather predictable from the beginning, it was one of those books that kept me turning pages, impatient for what I thought was going to happen to happen. I don't think the point was to not be predictable. Also, there was a past story line that was revealed bit by bit that always kept me guessing, and once I reached the end, I wanted to re-read bits of it to see how it all fit together.

The story has so much heart to it, is well written, and really draws in the reader. I LOVED all the literary quotes throughout the book. Books like this always make me wish I was better at memorization so I could just spout off the greats like Shakespeare and Longfellow whenever I want to.

Also, this book made me cry, which always earns a book an extra star :)

How I’ve been spending my time

I realize I’ve left this blog with nothing but crickets chirping for quite a while now, and I’m sorry. I’ve had plenty to share, but no time to do it.

One of the main things that has been taking up my time these last few months is training for this:

(picture source)

Yep, I went all crazy cakes and signed up for a triathlon! And it’s this Saturday!

If you’re not as familiar with LDS lingo, let me explain that the triathlon is put on by the women’s organization of the church (called the Relief Society). Therefore, the triathlon is only for women; it’s main goal is to promote women’s health. A stake is a group of several congregations in one area—just a way of keeping us organized.

Let me explain my journey a bit. For the past 2 years, a nearby stake has put on a similar triathlon. Many of my friends in that stake tried to encourage me to join in, but I had what I liked to call the “triathlon trifecta:”

1. No childcare
2. No bike
3. No gym membership to accomplish the swim training

And last year, I was pregnant, so that was a pretty easy out, also

It was announced early this year that our stake was going to be doing a triathlon of its own. I was tempted to give it a try (pun intended), but at first, I still couldn’t get past that triathlon trifecta (not to mention the fact that I was nursing an infant). It wasn’t until a pregnant friend of mine said she would sign up to walk the running portion that I decided I should at least sign up to do what I could. Certainly, I could walk 3 miles; no problem. And that got me thinking: maybe I would sign up for the run portion, planning to walk, but should I happen to find a chance to go jogging once in a while, I might be prepared to run it come triathlon day. That created a snowball effect in my mind, allowing for the possibility that maybe I’d have the time to train for some biking and swimming also. I liked thinking of it with a very non-committal, baby-steps approach.

I talked to the triathlon rep for our ward (congregation). I asked her if I could sign up for the running portion, and if I managed to train for another event, add that on later. She said that I might as well sign up for everything, because I could opt out of any event at the last minute, but I could not add on events after a certain point. So I did. Suddenly, I was signed up for a full triathlon. I thought I must be going crazy!

I’m just going to wrap things up here by saying it has been a long road, but I am indeed going to participate in each of the 3 events. I’d love to find the time to describe my journey through all of the training. Maybe no one is interested, but I want to document it for myself. If I get the time (ha ha), I’ll do another post or two telling about my training. For now, I’m just looking forward to this Saturday. I’m nervous, but I’m mostly SO excited. I actually think I might possibly be ready—something I thought I would never be.

So if you think of me this Saturday, send me all your prayers and energetic thoughts. I think I might be needing them!

On an unrelated note, I realized the last time I posted a picture of my sweet baby boy on this blog, he was just under 2 months old. If I didn’t have a separate family blog where I post pictures of him, this would be a criminal act for this doting mommy. Even still, it’s high time I share something on this blog, considering the fact that he’s now 10 months old. Man, that went fast. So I leave you with this—maybe another explanation why I have been so absent in blogging—I’m too busy loving this boy!

eBook Review: Unbound Birth

I was so excited when I heard that Jenny from The Southern Institute was working on an eBook about natural births in the hospital. Since I have had 3 natural births in the hospital, I was eager to share some of my story when Jenny asked if any moms might like to contribute. Now that I have read Unbound Birth: How to Have a Natural Birth in the Hospital, I would say that my main sentiment about the book is this: I wish this had been around before I ever started having kids! What a great resource for women approaching motherhood!

Allow me to share some of my personal experience. Before my oldest daughter was even a twinkle in my eye, I figured I was a sure-bet for medication during childbirth; I was a wimp! Then I attended an educational event centered around becoming a mother. There was a midwife there who explained about her job and talked a little about home births and natural births. It was from listening to her that it occurred to me that women have been having babies for thousands of years, and no matter how scary it might seem, my body was designed to do that. I didn’t have to know exactly what I was doing; my body already knew what to do. I went on to learn in a Childhood Development class at Oregon State University about some of the risks of medication during childbirth. The knowledge I gained from that midwife and class had me reconsidering if medication really was the right choice for me and my future baby.

When I did become pregnant for the first time, I told some of my family I was considering the possibility a natural birth. My sister/sisters-in-law had used medication during their births; my mother had experienced both medicated and unmedicated births. They were filled with loving concern about my decision; in short, they thought I was crazy. My family supported me, but I couldn’t really turn to them for advice. Unbound Birth would have been just what I needed at the time.

Once I had made up my mind to have a natural birth, I wanted to talk to people who knew what it was like. I tracked down any moms I knew who had experienced natural birth to ask them about their experiences and even ask them if they thought I could do it. At each check up, I asked my midwives for advice about how to get through a natural birth. Hearing from other women was one of the main things that gave me courage to go through with my decision to birth naturally, and that’s what I love about the book Unbound Birth. The encouragement, the birth stories, and the advice are all right there in this book.

Jennifer Yarbrough is a childbirth educator, and she has experienced 3 natural births in hospital. Her book, an easy read at just under 60 pages, is packed with information, advice, and encouragement from women who know what it’s like to have a natural birth in the hospital. Jenny describes her own birthing experiences, informs about natural birth, dismisses some of the fears surrounding natural birth, and gives advice about health during pregnancy and pain management. The book even includes a birth plan you can fill out. Jenny’s approach is non-preachy and non-judgmental; she just wants women to realize their own capabilities.

In Jenny’s own words, “I wrote this book because I truly believe that more women would birth naturally in the hospital if only they felt empowered and supported. I hope that Unbound Birth does this for you.”

I think any woman who is trying to decide what type of birthing experience she wants to have should read this book before making her decision. I have had 3 amazing natural births in the hospital that I would not change. I know it isn’t just a certain type of woman who can have a natural birth; any woman can do it. This book will help you find the confidence you need to have a good experience with a natural birth.

Click here to purchase a copy of Unbound Birth for $4.99 for your Kindle, Nook, or in PDF format.

Unbound Birth is also on Facebook and Twitter.